Dear Motherless Daughter,
As the world celebrates mothers everywhere, you may not be in so much of a festive mood.
I am here to tell you that it’s ok.
Today is my tenth year having said goodbye to my Mom and it gets a little better every year. This is my first year of celebration in a real way, starting with this ode to you, motherless daughter.
The memories of your Mom, or loved one, although pleasurable, may be too painful to pull forth today and that’s quite alright.
If this is your first year, the pain will be sharp and intense. Your ideal way to spend the day may be to stay beneath the covers with the blinds drawn and cry yourself in and out of sleep because it is the only way you know how.
Or you may be angry about the fact that your Mom wasn’t given a fighting chance, and you want all the people that did not show up for her to fuck off.
Or as you listen to her voicemail you may be thinking that she ain’t really gone. She will appear soon enough and pull you out of this very bad dream.
Wherever you fit in on this grief journey, know that you are not alone. You have a tribe beside you that understands this pain…this soreness…this emptiness in the pit of your stomach that recurs at the most inopportune moments that make you want to burst out crying and drown in your own sorrows. This is ok too.
Cry as much as you like. Allow yourself to feel the pain to the greatest depth because only when you do, will you know when things improve as time goes by. There is no timeline for grief.
But also, in the midst of the sadness, celebrate her life. She deserves to be celebrated. Her physical may be over, but you can offer her an afterlife through your life.
It’s the perfect gift really…a switching of roles. She gave you life and carried you for nine months and in turn you offer her an afterlife from the other realm. I wish someone had told me this earlier.
So today, as the memories of your Mom fill your mind and heart, invite her in to lay under the sheets with you and thank her for everything she has given you.
The lessons and gifts she left you with is enough strength for you to push forward and continue living to make her proud.
And whenever you feel overwhelmed…remember whose daughter you are and straighten your crown.
Sending you love and peace today!